Don't Trust...

Here's a few things to be wary of on the path of life (you can still love 'em though...I do):

Men who wear toupees. This is a sign of vanity and is it really safe for a man to be more vain than a woman?! NOT to be trusted. This also goes for men who wear nail polish and eyeliner. Certainly raises eyebrows...speaking of which...

Women who draw on bad, eyebrows. I can spot a bad drawn-on job from 50 paces. You really have to watch those women who have bleached blond hair and draw on big, black brows. Oh yeah, we've all seen her, and chances are, we're afraid of her. One should be wary of THAT lady simply because it's obvious she doesn't care...to look good...to smack your face...or to steal your husband.

People who bite their nails. Don't trust them in pressure situations; they're nervous.

Use extreme caution when carrying on a conversation with someone who has a catch-phrase. I say this for THEIR safety. How many times can you hear, "ya know what I'm sayin' " before you want to choke that person? After you hear it a couple of times, just excuse yourself from the conversation.

Another person to be wary of is the man/woman who constantly calls you 'sugar,' 'honey,' 'baby,' or 'darlin.' While it's perfectly acceptable in the south to address someone as 'honey' if someone does it repeatedly, it's because they haven't taken the time to learn your name. We are ALL worth our names being remembered. True story.

In the Facebook world--there are tons of people to watch out for and I'll caution you not to become one of the following people:
*The person who posts a picture of every item of food they eat (no. one. cares.)
*The person who has 9400 self portraits (vain? yes. you don't see the hot people doing that by the way)
*The person who feels the need to use completely inappropriate language in every status update (simply a cry out for attention for a person with low self-esteem)
*The person who will cut you down one minute and quote a bible verse the next (by your fruits we shall know you...and your fruit is, well...rotten)
*The person who can't spell worth a darn and they're a TEACHER?!?! or the person who can't differentiate between "you're, your, their, there, too, to, and two." Don't ask this person to help you with your homework.
*The hopeless teenager who has falls in and out of love every week. Would that child's parent PLEASE pay some attention to their child?
*The grown adult who is SO in love that they want the world to know. Here's a newsflash: the world doesn't care. Get a room and tell your mate in private.
*The person who re-posts a picture of a mutilated child in hopes that Facebook will donate money to help them get a new face/leg/eyeball...guess what? Facebook isn't The Peace Corps or The Red Cross.

Now, having said all that, let me say this: I love people. I am fascinated by people and the little idiosyncrasies that make us each unique. So, I don't want people to change--I want us all to just be who we are and be proud of who we are. In essence, embrace your toupee, and your big, bad eyebrows if that makes you happy...I certainly don't care--heck, I'm entertained by you and I love you, sugar...honey...baby...darlin' !!!!

Wild As An Outhouse Rat

I've been thinking...and I've been listening and here is a burning question. Just HOW wild is an outhouse rat?

My mom said to me last week, "he's always been wilder than an outhouse rat" in reference to someone living hard. That got me to thinking about rats...and outhouses. The first I want NO run-ins with and the second, I'm actually pretty familiar with. When I was 3, my dad was called to pastor a little country church with no indoor plumbing, so between Sunday School and preaching, the women would make the trek to the 'outhouse.' It was a two-seater which in itself is odd to me--the women would just go just two by two in the outhouse, do their business, carry on a conversation, pull up their drawers and think nothing of it. I get the nervous bladder now when I think there's someone in the stall next to me, so how on earth I could use the outhouse then with someone on the 'hole' next to me baffles me still. One of the older ladies would always say to me, "Don't forget to flush." Nothing like a little church outhouse humor.

That got me to thinking about outhouses...did you know that in Australia they're called "Thunderboxes?" I'd say! In New Zealand "Long Drops"...and if you were rich your outhouse was made of brick thus the saying, "she's built like a brick #@$%house." (who says my blog isn't educational)??!!!

So back to my original question...just how wild IS an outhouse rat? Some would say that the saying refers to a crazy person and not an actual rat in the outhouse, but I'm not convinced. I think if I were a rat and my home was an outhouse, I'd probably be pretty wild--wild about escaping!

This is my random thought of the day...be careful out there so as not to be accused of being "wild as an outhouse rat."