There's An Old Flame Burning In My Car?!

Weird things happen to me. I get frostbite in August, my vision improves to almost perfect without surgical assistance and my car catches on fire.

As usual, I was running late this morning and decided that I would put on my foundation/blush at home, but fix my eyes when I got to the office. I roll into the LCADD parking lot around 8:20 and head to my office to begin returning phone calls and while on hold I discover a few stray eyebrows so I pluck them and then start putting on my eyeshadow when over the loudspeaker I hear, "CLARISSA HART COME TO THE FRONT OFFICE IMMEDIATELY!" I was about half irritated because, after all, I was on the phone (albeit on hold) and my makeup still wasn't finished. But, as duty calls, I must answer so I head up to the front office where I'm informed that my CAR IS ON FIRE!!! Uh, what?! My car? Is on fire? Are you KIDDING me? Sure enough, I look outside and there is smoke billowing from under the hood of old 'Black Attack.' I walk on outside, pop the hood and HOLY MOTHER OF PEARL--there are FLAMES shooting out from under the hood!! This is not a good sign. Something is obviously awry. Luckily, someone has enough sense to get the fire extinguisher and curb the fire. Once it's out, I realize that there will be people to call, people to see about this catastrophe and I am still only looking half put together. So I rush back inside, hurriedly throw on the rest of my eye makeup and begin calling the necessary people.

Moments later it looks like a memorial to my car. The hood is up and people are gathered around viewing the deceased. I wanted us to hold hands and sing, "Amazing Grace" but I didn't figure anyone would go for that. Soon the wrecker came and hauled my car away where the damage can properly be assessed. The next step in the whole process was giving a recorded statement to my insurance adjuster. It lasted 25 minutes and I answered a string of bizarre questions such as, 'what color were the flames that shot out?' and 'have you been in any altercations recently--or have any enemies?' or 'how long have you had that set of tires on your car?' and one of my favorite, 'how do you plan on getting home today?'

I am anxious to see how this all plays out for me and my 'hunka hunka burning love' car!

PICTURES HERE!!