From Head To Toe

Well folks, this blog starts with a story and a warning--THE PICTURE IS OF GRAPHIC NATURE AND IS NOT FOR THE FAINT OF HEART. About 3 weeks ago, my sister and I purchased new steps for my mom and dad's swimming pool. The steps are called 'Wedding Cake Tier Steps' ( I really hope you can visualize that). So, 3 weeks ago, we were having some trouble getting the water to clear up and you couldn't see the bottom step; being the total and complete klutz that I am, I stubbed my toe on the bottom step, it tore my skin loose from the nail, bled, and all that other disgusting stuff (ewwwww). It did everything but heal. So after 3 weeks of pursuasion from my mom and sister, I decided to go visit my family doctor whom we all love and adore--Dr. Miles. Apparently my neglect led to an infection which had to be cauterized and let me tell you--it hurt like a mofo. As soon as the procedure was over, I broke out in a sweat, felt like my arms weighed a ton, thought I might throw up...Dr. Miles says, "Moochie--you're not going to pass out on me are you?!" He jumps up, lays me down, starts fanning me, starts rubbing my face with cold, wet rags (much to my embarrassment). I never knew I was such a wimp!!! I told him--'NO CHILDBIRTH FOR ME!' I imagine that it hurts much worse that a cauterized toe. Now I know you all are simply DYING to see what this looks like and I'm here to oblige. My hat's off the those in healthcare. I obviously couldn't handle it.

So that about covers the toe part (I'm so sorry, I just had to share...maybe it will convince us all to immediately go to the doctor and not wait 3 weeks). Now, on the head part of the blog. Yesterday afternoon my mother comes jingle-jangling down the hallway (turns out the jingle-jangle is from a charm bracelet that she's had since God was a boy). She makes some comment about how she'd love to have some charms of her grandbabies, to which I reply in my best southern english, "You ain't even got a picture of me on that old thang!" She insists that a picture of my sister as a baby is actually me (but I know better--I was waaaaaaay cuter). My sister and I then decide that we are going to prove that the picture is not me, but is her (I never wore double knit dresses--that was soooo 1973). While plundering through my mom's things my sister comes across this old wig that my mom has had since the 60's. She tries it on--as does her 2 year old and we just couldn't stop laughing!! Sooooo...that about covers everything--from head to toe.